


Shadow of You

by storybrooke



Category: Supernatural RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9217736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storybrooke/pseuds/storybrooke
Summary: When Jared's brother dies, he's left alone to take care of his alcoholic father who's hate for Jared seems to grow every day. Left to deal with the death of his other half, Jared develops a relationship with a man who looks exactly like his dead brother and for a short time, life seems to be going well.  It's only when Jared is about to graduate high school that he finally sees things for what they truly were.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as an English assignment in 9th grade, so there's no mature or explicit content. It's rather short and brief, but I don't know what else I could add. Enjoy :)

**_Chicago, Illinois_ **  
**_May 19th, 1994_**

  
_“Just stay behind me, Jay. It’s gonna be alright, little brother.”_

  
_Jared could see the bad men coming at them slowly, like a pack of wolves and his brother and him were the prey: cornered, useless._

_“I’m scared, Tom.” Jared felt stupid. His body trembled and snot ran down his nose. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes._

  
_“Shh, it’s okay.” Tom looked down at him and smiled. His brother was his rock, even now acting brave when Jared could see the absolute fear in his eyes._ If Tom can be this brave then I can be brave too _, thought Jared._ _With one last reassuring look, Tom shoved Jared behind him and faced the bad men. They were covered in tattoos and reeked of alcohol and a sweet and sour smell that made Jared dizzy. One of them reached behind his back and took out something, but Jared couldn't tell. It was very dark in the alley and he saw the silhouette of the men getting closer._

  
_“I don’t have any money.” Tom’s voice ricocheted against the walls._

  
_“I think you’re lying.” One of the bad men, the leader, guessed Jared, stepped up and pointed something at Tom. A sob escaped Jared and he held on to his brother’s hand tighter._ _Tom tensed and pulled Jared tighter against him._

  
_“C’mon, man. Don’t do this. Please. There’s no need for that.”_ _But the gun didn’t waver from the man’s hand. It was pointed straight at Tom._

  
_“Look maybe we can compromise.” Tom pleaded._

  
_“Nah, you just said you don’t have any money,” the man pulled the trigger, “and you’ve already seen my face.”_

  
_Time slowed down._

  
_Jared could feel Tom’s hand slip from his as he fell to the ground, slowly, so slowly. His body landed on the pavement and his chest was covered in crimson. Jared could hear someone screaming, screaming so loud it hurt his ears. Tom laid motionless on the ground, the red sputtering from his mouth, dripping down his cheeks._

  
_“Tom!” Jared wrapped his arms around his brother and put his head on his lap, “Tom!”_

  
_Tom’s eyes were wandering and then it landed on Jared. “Tom, please.” Jared was sobbing, it was a waterfall of tears and snot and he was trembling. “Tom, stay with me. C’mon.”_

  
_“It’s okay, little brother.” Tom was losing too much blood._

  
_“No!” Jared hugged him tighter._

  
_“It’s okay.”_

  
_It wasn’t after the light left Tom’s eyes that Jared realized that it was him who was screaming._  

 

 **Dillon, Texas**  
**September 18th, 1999**

  
Ever since Tom’s death, my father has taken up the wonderful addiction of alcoholism. He had it before, but now its gotten worse. It has the pretty side effects of child abuse. He blames me for Tom’s death like I could do anything about it.

  
“Jared!”

  
Oh great.

  
“Yes, sir.”

  
“Look at me when I’m talking to you, boy!”

  
I lifted my head and looked at him. His eyes were big and blue, they used to be warm, crinkles at the side of his eyes when he yelled, _‘way to go, kid!’_ when I didn’t fumble the football. Now, dad’s eyes were cold as ice, hard as stone. It got hard not to hate him after knowing what those eyes were capable of.

  
“I told you to clean the guns.”

  
That’s another thing I forgot to mention. My father is an ex-marine, which makes him crazy. “No, sir.” I made sure to look at him this time.

  
“Why not?”

  
“I had to do homework and there were a lot of dishes from last---”

  
“I told you millions of time, Jared,” I hate his loud voice, “school is not a priority right now.” I cringed as he got close to my face, those hard eyes inches away from mine, “You know what a priority is right now?” 

I wrinkled my nose at the stale smell of cigarettes and alcohol in his breath, “Catching moms---”

  
“Catching YOUR mother’s killer!” He shoved me against the wall, my head bouncing against the drywall. “School is a distraction. Do you even care anymore?”

  
“Of course I do!”

  
“Then act like it!”

  
My blood was boiling. Who was he to say that I didn't care?! She was MY mother too!

  
“I want to go to college, dad. I want a life.” I braced myself for the punch that would come, but it didn’t. Instead, he just stared at me, he didn’t look shocked or angry, more like frustrated.

  
“This is your life.” With that he turned away and left the dingy motel room, leaving me with a hole in my chest because those words, those words couldn’t be more true.

  
I sank to the floor and leaned my head on the wall. The wallpaper was peeling, leaving dark spots all over the walls, the fan made an annoying creaking sound and the room smelled of cigarettes and musk. I hate this. I hate my life. I hate my dad.  
My eyes were stinging and I closed them, letting the tears fall at a steady pace. I never believed in a greater power, but I want to believe that Tom was somewhere out there.

  
“Tom…” This is ridiculous, “Tom, I need you. I can’t do this anymore.” My throat tightened and my eyes burned. This feels like the night when Tom was killed. I'm cornered, useless. “If there’s someone out there? God? Please---I can’t...help me.” My chest was heaving and I made loud gasping sounds as the coldness seeped into my bones, the tears burning my cheeks. “Help me.”

I sat against the wall long enough for my tears to dry and my heartbeat to calm down. This was useless. No one’s there.

  
“I need to get out of here.” I slowly got up and made my way to the door, the cool night air hitting my heated face as I opened it. Without realizing, I slammed the door shut and slumped on the sidewalk.

  
“Whoa, buddy.”

  
My eyes widened as I turned to see who the voice came from.

  
“You alright there?”

  
_Tom?_ _No. It can’t be,_ I thought _. Tom is dead._

I must’ve been staring at him for a long time because he started to tense up and fidget with the cigarette in his hand. I raised an eyebrow at the smoke and smiled.

  
Tom used to smoke.

  
“Um...hello?” The stranger said again.

  
That snapped me out of my train of thought and a deep blush spread across my cheeks. “Sorry, um, hey.” I got up and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans before offering a hand. The guy shook it before pulling the cigarette between his lips and taking a long drag.

  
Smiling he said, “I’m Will.”

  
My smile faltered a little bit. I don’t know why I would expect his name to be Tom as well. _Tom is dead, Jared_ , I reminded myself. “I’m Jared,” I replied.

  
Tom---I mean Will, smiled back and nodded. “Good to meet you, Jay. Can I call you Jay?”

  
_I can’t do this_ , I thought, _h_ _e's too much like Tom, "_ Sure."

  
He had Tom’s big, sky blue eyes, his jet black hair, and his smile, that was Tom’s too. One of those Colgate commercial smiles: straight, white teeth. Despite the smoking and the drinking, his teeth were on point. I always used to complain in the mornings and knock on the bathroom door, _“Tom! C’mon! It’s been like 20 minutes!_ ”, he would always come out with a beaming smile, his lips red from the toothpaste, and say, _“This is the moneymaker, Jay!”_ while grinning and pointing at his teeth. God, how much I miss him.

  
“Hey, Jay, you alright?” Will spoke again and I felt so embarrassed that I managed to space out twice in front of him.

  
“Yeah! I’m sorry; it’s just that...you remind me of someone.”

  
Will laughed and patted my shoulder and I cringed at his touch. “No worries, man. I hope it’s someone good.”

  
Forcing a smile I responded, “Yeah, it’s my brother.”

  
Will smiled, “Brother huh? What’s his name?”

  
“His name was Tom.” I knew the exact moment Will caught onto the tense of the phrase and his smile evaporated.

  
“Was? Oh crap, man, I’m sorry.” Will seemed deeply sorry and the slight grimace on his face made me smile. Just like Tom.

  
“No, it’s alright. I actually needed that.”

  
Will seemed to visibly calm down and he dropped the cigarette to the ground before stepping on it. “What do you mean?”

  
I sighed, “You don’t want to know, trust me.”

  
Will looked serious and looked at me straight in the eyes. “Try me.”

  
“Alright.”

Before I knew it I was spilling my guts out to Will. I told him about my mother’s death and how my father soon went crazy after that trying to find her killer. How Tom was shot in an alley and how I held him until the light left his eyes. I told him about my dad and how he would beat me whenever he got in late after a long day. I told him how I want to go to college, have a normal life. I told him everything. There was something about him, besides the fact that he was the splitting image of Tom, which made me trust him so much.

  
After I was done with my whole life-story, I took a deep breath and turned to Will, expecting him to frown and walk away, telling me how my life was too complicated. Instead, he just stared at me before rubbing and hand over his face and wiping his eyes.

  
“It’s alright if you don’t have anything to say.” I tried to break the ice.

  
“No, um, it’s not that.” Will’s eyes were red-rimmed and shiny.

  
Had he been crying?

  
We just started at each other for a while before he frowned and stepped up, wrapping his arms around me. He was a little bit taller than me, which surprised me because not many people are; 6’3 isn’t exactly average height. Will’s chin rested on my shoulder and I let him. I drowned in it because it’s been a long time since I’ve been hugged. So, I hugged back and we stayed like that for a long time. The shallow rise and fall of our chests and his breath on my neck.

  
“Sorry about that.” Will chuckled and moved away.

  
“No, it’s alright, I needed that.” I smiled back and put my hands in my pockets, rocking on my feet.

  
“So…” Will spoke, “about college and stuff?”

  
I sighed and nodded my head.

  
“You’re almost eighteen, Jared. I think it’s time for you to leave---you can leave.” Will looked at me with worried eyes.

  
“Yeah, I know.” I looked down at my feet, “My dad...I can’t leave him.”

  
Will sighed and shook his head, “I don’t mean to sound like a bad person here, but you have no choice. I mean, what choice did he give you?”

  
Will had a point. Dad didn’t give me much choice in this.

  
“Well, what should I do?”

  
“Where do you want to go?” I never actually thought of what school I wanted to go to. It never seemed like a possibility.

  
“Uhh, I don’t---”

Will laughed and shook his head, “How ‘bout we start somewhere else?”

  
“What do you mean?” I asked.

“How are you grades in school?”

 

**November 30th, 1999**

  
I lost myself in Will’s world. Every day after school, I would go to his room and we would study or do homework together. He helped me with my college applications and told me that I was smart, smarter than most people. He told me I had potential.

  
I cried myself to sleep that night, not because I was sad, but because I was happy. I’ve never had someone take care of me like that, not since Tom.

 

**December 1st, 1999**

  
Once all my applications were sent, I was happy. Happy to know that I would finally get out of this place, out of my dad’s cruel hands.

  
Of course, that’s when Will vanished.

  
I went to his usual motel room after school and turned the knob, but it was locked. It was never locked. I tried to knock, but no one answered. I thought he’d gone out to buy something, so I waited.

 

**December 8th, 1999**

  
I waited for a whole week.

  
Each day was like torture, knowing that he’d gone, that the only person I could ever trust or love again had vanished. I cried every night and day, I cringed when I walked by his room to go to the lobby, everything reminded me of him. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I went to the lobby and asked the clerk when the guy in room 124 had checked out. He looked at me weird before checking on his computer, “Uh, room 124, you said?”

  
“That’s the one.” My heart was beating fast; I wanted to know what happened to Will.

  
“Um, yeah, like I thought.” The clerk guy was scratching his head.

  
“What?” The suspense was killing me.

  
“No one has used that room in over a year, dude.”

  
I think I had a full blown panic attack in the lobby, the guy even got up from his seat, but before he could say anything I ran. I ran to the room where Will and I practiced Calculus, the room where Will and I read The Crucible and wrote an essay on it. I ran to the room where I punched a hole in the wall after coming home to my dad surrounded my beer bottles. I ran to the room where my life changed.

  
When I reached the room, those big silver letters stared at me.

  
_124._

  
Who knew numbers could hold so much meaning?

  
I busted through the door and looked at the room. If it were a stranger standing in my place he would think this looks like a normal room. The smell of laundry detergent filled the air and the beds were too neat, but no. This is Will’s room. This is our room. I looked at the wall where the hole was supposed to be, but it wasn’t there. I ran my hand over the spot and felt smooth drywall. Not a trace of us, of him.

  
“Will!” I screamed. The steady creaking of the ceiling fan was my only answer.

  
“Will!” I tried again. The tears were coming back, harder than before. “This can’t be happening,” I muttered, “Not again. Not again.” I ran to the full bed and its flowery bed cover and saw red. I ripped the cover from the bed and the bed sheet too. I flung the pillows behind me and flipped over the mattress.

  
“Will!” My vision was a blur and a deep throb occupied my head. “Tom.”

  
Realization broke me.

  
There was no Will. There was no Tom-look-a-like. There was nothing, just an empty void in my chest, like always, it’s like it’s never left, and in some way, it didn’t, because Will never filled it. Will wasn’t real.

  
“Tom.” I sobbed and sunk to the ground, my head between my knees as I cried. As I cried for the millionth time in my young life, way more than anyone should. I screamed and sobbed and yelled and flung pillows, but it wouldn’t bring anyone back. It wouldn’t bring Mom back, it wouldn’t bring the Dad I loved back, not Tom, not Will; No one. Although, what it did bring was the clerk guy hovering over the door like a prey looking at a wild animal, asking me to please leave. So I did.

 

**June 2nd, 2000**

  
I came home from school to my dad passed out on the ground in a pool of his own vomit. Beer bottles littered the floor and I knew right away he wasn’t gonna make it.

  
He died in the hospital. Alcohol poisoning.

  
I didn’t cry, if that’s what our wondering. I just felt...relieved.

 

**June 23rd, 2000**

  
I graduated from Madison High School with a full scholarship to Stanford University. The only people there to see me receive my diploma were my classmates. People I didn’t even know. So there I was, shaking hands with some person who was supposedly my principal, smiling as much as I was expected to. I couldn’t help but feel proud at that moment because I made it here all on my own.

  
Next fall I would start my first year of college at Stanford. I managed to work my ass off to get a full ride to a college farthest away from Chicago and Texas. It was easy to not have a life when all you had to look forward to was school and homework. No friends. No family. Nothing.

  
So when I released the principal’s hand and raised my diploma in the air, I was met by a chorus of cheers. But something made me look to my left, behind all the people and the parents and the graduation balloons, far out into the distance of the football field. There stood a guy, a guy with big, sky blue eyes and jet black hair and a colgate smile. He was smiling proudly at me and at that moment I knew I wasn’t alone, I was never alone. He was always there, watching over me, taking care of me, leading me down the right path, my own guardian angel. If I had doubts about a higher power, I didn’t anymore. There was a God and he was cruel, but a merciful one.

  
So I smiled back at the guy in the distance and said a little prayer because from now on I knew I would never be alone. I would always have him with me.

  
My rock, my brother.

  
_Tom._


End file.
